Going to an online auction is a lot like going to church, except instead of praying for salvation, you’re praying your WiFi doesn’t cut out during the final 30 seconds of bidding. It’s all led by someone at the front who seems to know way more about what’s going on than anyone else in the room.

Both involve a lot of faithful waiting. In church, you prayerfully wait and listen for God’s voice; in auctions, you wait for that one person who always bids with two seconds left. There’s the same hushed reverence as people bow their heads for prayer, but during the auction, it’s over their device, occasionally muttering “Oh God, not again” when the price jumps.

You’ll find yourself making similar desperate bargains as we often do with God: “If I win this vintage toaster, I promise I’ll never bid on kitchen appliances again.” And just like church, you leave feeling either spiritually fulfilled or questioning all your life choices, depending on whether you got outbid by PowerSeller2009 at the last second.

The collection plate gets passed around in both places, too. Except at auctions, it’s your credit card getting charged automatically, and there’s no guilt-free way to pretend you only put in $5.

Plus, both involve a lot of people gathering to worship something they probably can’t afford. Jesus paid a high price so that we don’t have to. If you’re unfamiliar with John 3:16, check it out.  It’ll change your world for the better!